A few weeks before Christmas when we were young, our mom and dad would take my sisters and me to downtown Chicago to see the department store windows decorated for the holidays. We would go to mass at 8:00 a.m and then to Almar Donuts where we would pick out our breakfast. Mom would pour her and Dad a steaming cup of coffee from the red plaid thermos she had filled before leaving the house and we would head towards the city.
Bundled up against the December cold, we would walk to State Street where we would ooh and aah at the windows of Sears, Carson Pirie Scott, and the big finale of Marshall Fields. Nobody was downtown on those early Sunday mornings so we could stand right against the glass and be mesmerized by the elaborate displays and decorations. Between the two of them, Mom and Dad would excitedly point everything out and as I got older I wondered if this adventure was more for them than us. It didn’t matter – it was an annual event just for us girls. If it was close to opening time we would go into Fields which was the Cadillac of department stores. Red bows hanging from every light fixture, the first floor perfume counters, and boxes of Frango Mints stacked everywhere. It seemed magical.
When our kids were little, Mark and I wanted to have our own tradition and so we decided to take them on a carriage ride on the Plaza where we could leisurely see the store windows and lights from the comfort of a horse-drawn buggy. The only problem with our plan was that the night we had reserved a ride was a mixture of snow and sleet and bitterly cold temperatures. Not to be deterred because Chicago was firmly embedded on our DNA, we forged ahead and hyped it up for the kids. Despite the conditions we were managing to perservere until we rounded the corner and sleet was hitting us directly in the face. Mallory was a baby and even though she was bundled up it wasn’t enough and I unzipped my coat and tucked her inside. Maggie and Will were crouched down on the floor to avoid the sleet. Maybe they were crying – I don’t remember because it I felt like I was a pioneer woman on a wagon train fighting for our lives – or maybe their tears were frozen to their tiny, frigid faces. It was miserable. Afterwards we were supposed to have a family dinner but only made it as far as McDonald’s. Mark tried to cajole the kids into walking a few blocks to a nicer restaurant but they weren’t having it. All they wanted was a happy meal and for the frozen blocks that were their feet to thaw out.
I’m not sure if it’s an age thing or no longer having a living parent, but this year the memories of all my Christmas seasons have been like a movie that’s been whooshing by on fast forward. The simplest task brings up memories of my mom and dad, how hard they worked all of the time but especially at Christmas to make it feel special. I see my daughter and her husband doing the same thing with their kids even when it’s clear they are exhausted. I remember those overwhelming days.
This year I am in a different house with a different partner. I’m not sure yet how Christmas will look, but Michael is kind and generous to a fault so I have no doubt that it will be lovely. But even if it isn’t, even if there’s some hiccups that throw a wrench in our day, we will show up in sparkles and plaid and a snapshot will temporarily stop the whooshing of time and prove that we were together and we did our best.
Therein lies the magic.
Merry Christmas.
